etha*n is 15mths, 16mths... 17mths old!!

erk.

have i been slacking off huh.

yes, i got lazy. & i got busy. lots of things to update but not sure if i can do it all (cos honestly, i dont know if i'll remember everything).

i'll update pictures later. once i've transferred them out of my camera. see, i havent even done that. sigh.

here are some highlights.

ethan turned 15mths which is supposed to be a major milestone. cant recall what new things he learned to do cos he learns things bit by bit every day & so i cant pinpoint the exact time, of course. i think he got sick sometime during his 15th month but nothing too serious. just a common cold. we went for our very first terry fox run at lake gardens. etha*n had a good time picking up stones & stuffing them in his mouth. dirty boy. there were a lot of photographers taking shots of kids & i've been searching the net for pictures of my offspring & i managed to get one good one which i think we'll blow up & hang on our walls. thanks mr photographer whoever you are.

just before etha*n turned 16mths old, he contracted a viral flu with high fever which also led to a secondary bacterial infection which led to prolonged high fever. i was in langkawi & dada was taking care of him for a couple days. when the fever didnt go away, our gp suggested he be taken to the ER whereupon he got admitted into the hospital for 4 days. his first hospital admittance --sobs. luckily, on the day he was admitted, i came back from langkawi. he was ok except he had very thick phlegm which they had to suck out of his nose & throat. poor baby. a week after he was discharged, he still had a running nose but i think the rainy weather then made it a bit persistent. we also took a short trip back to kk for about a week, just me & etha*n. boy, was i worried about the ear pressure risk for him. but he was ok both going & coming back. still, he was a bit restless on the plane & luckily we were sitting next to understanding women who didnt mind ethan bothering them.

so he has just turned 17mths. he can now say "ball", "goal", "car", "zz-der" which is alex.ander his middle name. he knows that things have their place at home, & tries to put them back where they belong. he still loves my kitchen stuff --most prominently, my colander and food strainer. hes still not a big eater & often times i worry that he doesnt eat enough. he has 4 molars out now (top & bottom). not only can he walk steadily, he can walk fast, almost to the point of running. sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, i see a blur zooming by into the kitchen (where hes forbidden to enter but he does anyways) to get his beloved colander & food strainer.

hes still got his pacifier. but thats my fault cos i havent been working hard at weaning him off it. he's developed a fascination with my vacuum cleaner & tries to help out when i'm cleaning the apartment. also, instead of sitting in his stroller, he now wants to be the one to push it. & when we try to help him steer it in the right direction i.e. so it doesnt hit anyone, he stops mid-stride & swats our hands away.

he can pretend laugh so that people will laugh along but i think it has finally hit him that people are laughing at him, so he gets a bit shy. & you know how i know? when you can see he is smiling but hes trying to hold it in. so it looks like hes turning his lips into his mouth, like an "o".

this will be our 2nd christmas with ethan. this time, when we lit up the christmas tree for the first time this year, he clapped his hand and laughed. & when i put on a christmas carol cd, he danced. i thought to myself, "wow... so smart ah my boy!" but then the babysitter burst my bubble & reminded me that i gave her a christmas barney cd for him to watch & he has been watching it every day since august. hihihi...

ok, so thats all the time i have for updates today. i'll try to upload some pictures soon.

etha*n the super-dynamo

etha*n in a hood

he loves the kitchen

running out

running out

running in

come follow me

finally tired

insists on having half his body on the cold tiles

his favorite: asian food channel

my superhero stance

etha*n is 14mths old

enough with the sad stuff.

my only son is now already 14mths old. hes an expert at walking now. but hes still got to master steps. the major thing at the moment is talking. hes learning to talk apart from mama, dada and ahhh. he tried saying car (which came out as daa) and duck (which also came out as daa).

hes favorite past-time? the phone. he pretends to be on the phone with whatever he has on hand. it could be his hand, yes, his palm. he places his hand over his ear and pretends to be talking. sometimes when he does have an actual phone in hand, he walks around, pretends to be dialing numbers and then puts it to his ear and walks around talking. macam boss!!

a pacifier is also a phone. a chinese spoon can also be a phone in his world. even his milk bottle. at first, i used to tell him "no baby, thats not a phone. thats a yada yada." but now its come to "ok baby. yes, a pacifier can also be a phone. you've got good imagination." ya lah. tengok james bond movies. the weirdest things can double up as something else right. who knows, etha*n might one day be an inventor/innovator! :D

makan-wise, well, he doesnt seem to like fish. but i'm trying to sneak it into his mouth. not very sabahan, is he? at least not in his porridge. kalau goreng-goreng yang we makan with rice, he'll eat. he doesnt seem to like anything with a hint of sour in it either. so not ME ok. but i'm making the sitter feed him sour stuff like yogurt, apples just so that he'll acquire a tolerance for it. i'm just worried that he wont want to take medication which is usually sour-ish, when necessary. i've also started him on scotts emulsion (the orange one), and he fights me all the time with that. hmm... actually i think i've already mentioned that in an earlier entry right?

christmas is coming. time flies so fast that before we know it, it'll be 2010. ok ya, i know raya pun tak sampai lagi. but this is it for me: every year when raya comes, i start thinking and planning for christmas already. well, usually its the budgeting that i have to do early. and i SHOULD SHOULD start shopping early. ok so, christmas is coming and i'm trying to figure out what to dress him in. takkan beli satu baju kan? i gotta buy SOME new clothes for him. for mass, for visiting, for jalan-jalan.

i got him a new fisherman's hat and boy, does he love it. he'll give you a smile, the kind of smile that says "i know i'm cute". he'll keep still for awhile so that the hat doesnt fall off but then he'll get annoyed & take it off himself.

he can do puzzles to some extent now. well not jigsaw puzzles. i dont know what you call them. those block shapes that you try to insert in the corresponding hole. he can do some. some, he cant do and then gets into a temper due to frustration. its quite funny to see. such a small thing with showing his frustration. when his father is there, you'll hear him say "it's ok son. be patient." me? i just say "dont be angry!"

:D

i'll upload some pictures later.

here we go again :-(

So it looks like history has repeated itself. At 2 months pregnant, I was informed that the foetus has not developed and in fact, that I was having (yes having at that present moment) a missed miscarriage.

Sigh.

This means that I “missed” the miscarriage i.e. that I didn’t know that I had had one. This is because there was no bleeding experienced. Basically, the pregnancy was still there but the foetus was not alive. So I was given some pills to help begin the bleeding and get the expulsion of the pregnancy on its way.

Sigh.

I’m not as sad as with the first miscarriage but I’m still sad. And worried. How could this happen to me twice? How could it happen to me at all? Did I do something wrong, eat something wrong, drink something wrong? Will it happen again... & again? Is it punishment for my sins? Probably. The gynea says it’s nothing to do with what I did. That it’s usually something wrong with the foetus itself & the body is just ridding itself of something that’s not right. Like quality control. Ok. That comforts me on an intellectual level. But in my heart, I still ask the questions.

Sigh.

So we shall try again next year. I’m sad for the foetus. For both the “lives” that I’ve lost this year. For Catholics abortion is wrong because we believe life begins at the point of conception, not at birth. So I feel sad that these lives ended in me. I’m also sad for Etha*n. I so wanted siblings for him. For him not to feel alone. See I grew up in a family of 6 kids & lots of cousins. I wanted that for him. I wanted him to share baby talk with a brother / sister. To fight. To love. To play.

Sigh.

God forgive me for all my sins. I endeavour to be a good person, a healthy person in body, mind & spirit so that I will be a good root for the life that will come from me, a good home for the life who will live in me for 9 months & later, with me, for at least 30 years (hehehe).

Bless me. Bless me. Bless me.

belated announcement again

this entry was drafted earlier @ 7 weeks pregnant.

hello world,

i wish to make an announcement. we’re pregnant again :d. we’re ecstatic but a bit more cautious about announcing it. we’ve told my family (& my mom has announced it to her world). my mil knows but hasn’t disclosed it to anyone (i think). i think she knows we’re being cautious this time around.

i was a day late and knew that i was probably pregnant since i have an on-the-dot kind of menstrual cycle. so, i got myself a home test kit & tested myself at 4am. positive. even etha*n got up to celebrate :d. true to my anal self, i tested myself when i was 2 days late, 3 days late and 1 week late. all positive.

i called my gynea @ 4 weeks and saw her @ 6 weeks+.

she confirmed the pregnancy. i wish i could say “everything is well!” but at the check-up we didn’t see a heartbeat. i’m not sure if it is something to worry about or not. we’re also a bit worried because of my previous miscarriage cos we also didn’t see a heartbeat then. but let’s be positive. i’m not bleeding. & i’ve read that some people don’t see a heartbeat till much later due to whatever lah. the gynea gave me some meds to stabilize the womb. let’s hope for the best.

my symptoms with this pregnancy:

- lots of zits (yuck)
- constant hunger (i’ve even gotten up at 3am hungry)
- fatigue
- emo (tears & short-temperedness)

just as a record, at 6 weeks pregnant:

age: 32yo
weight: 48kg
hair: short, colored, white hair making an appearance
general: no morning sickness (yet).

i used a pregnancy weight gain calculator & which said that i would gain a total of 33.97 lbs. thats approximately 15kg. sobs… i’ll be 63kg. but never mind. i gained abt the same weight with etha*n so lets hope i can lose it all again.

keeping the faith!

jealousy

my son seems more attached to his father than he is to me. despite me being the one who is with him more. i am a tad jealous. just a tad. sometimes i wonder, what is it that i'm doing that makes him take me for granted? because thats what i think it is. because i'm always there for him that mine is not a novel face, being with me is not a novel experience to him. he has gotten used to my being available.

its not neccessarily a bad thing (i suppose), as it probably means that baby is more confident that i'm there no matter what (excluding the hours that i'm at work lah ya). it isnt that the husband is never around. he is available subject to his working hours, just as i am. the only difference is, i work the normal malaysian 9-530pm while he works from 12noon-9pm. & by the time he reaches home, etha*n is almost asleep. so whenever he does see his father, wow... the smile on the face. the love on the face. the laughter of joy. & the husband revels in it :-)... it is lovely to see.

but i am human. so i get a bit jealous every now & then.

however, my consolation is this: etha*n looks for me when its bedtime. i believe he has come to understand the concept of time & schedule & knows when its time to turn in for the night. & when im not there on hand at the appointed hour, i can hear him whining while the father tries to pacify him. & once im within sight, wow... the smile on the face. the love on the face. & the laughter... yes, he laughs as if saying "phew... there you are!!"

:D

mummy dresses me up

check-out my shoes. hand-me-downs from my cousin. who had it handed down to him in the first place. but it's a cool pair of shoes. & dont you think they go with my ensemble?

why etha*n goes to a babysitter

well, it’s a long long long story which i’m too lazy to expound on. actually i’ve already expounded it to the death before this haha.

here’s the short version.

- we applied for a maid.
- etha*n went back to sabah with my parents for 3 weeks.
- he came back to kl again with my mom.
- the maid finally came, 2 months late.
- she was real crap.
- she ran away.
- we were relieved haha…
- we found a babysitter.
- but we still have to look for a maid for the long term.

so that’s the story. it has been many months of heart-sickness for us. what with the h1n1 situation limiting our choices. our first option was just to send him to a nursery. he could make friends which he’ll love. but then the schools & universities started closing. & we got a bit worried for obvious reasons. so, back to the drawing board. i drove around the neighbourhood looking for babysitters. driving and squinting my eyes looking at those hand-made signboards you know. lorry for rent. pajak gadai. personal loans etc. sigh…

then, one night as i got into the apartment lift, i bumped into a neighbour whose mother i knew was a housewife. i just didn’t know whether she was already taking care of her own grandkids. & i asked. & she said yes. its no wonder they say, “if you don’t ask, you wont know”.

so, to those of you with childcare issues: good luck & remember, ask & ye shall find.

etha*n goes to the babysitter

this week i join the throngs of people who send their kids to a babysitter. i found one who lives where i live, just 3 floors down. she also takes care of ethan alone. happiness.

when we dropped him off that first morning, he was ok. such a frofesenel. he smiled, came to the front door, waved us off & walked back in. not a single tear. when i called at noon, she reported that ethan didn’t cry at all. everything went business as usual. the only change is the caregiver’s face and the address.

i wish to thank god for giving me such a conveniently-located babysitter who’s softspoken & nice & who kindly accepted our proposed fee although other babysitters in the building charge double the amount. bless her soul & her family. i must bake her a cake. better to just buy one for her.

i wish also to thank God for etha*ns good behaviour. i would’ve been heartbroken if he had cried that first time. but he didn’t. pheww!!

blessed be.

etha*n is 13mths old

the boy is learning how to speak. although, hes not saying any words. just making sounds with intonations and inflections similar to adults talking. its kinda funny cos hes actually only really really really familiar with 2 words i.e. mama & dada. so, he’ll make these sing-song kinda sounds as if hes really talking and inserts the mama & dada liberally. e.g. "wooahhh wooahh mama de dadada!!" or "wah wah wah dada de mamama!!"

his comprehension is more sophisticated now & he can understand when we tell him things. like make a fist (so mummy can slid the watch over it). or put your arms up (so i can pull your t-shirt off). he can apparently also ask for things himself. this is according to my mom lah –he’ll give a little squeak to get your attention & then point to his mouth indicating that he wants his doggone pacifier. He can say more words like “hi”, “bye”, “wowow” which means dog. hes quite the mischievous little fella too and will try to pit me against his father. i’ll ask him to say “mama” & he’ll say “dada” instead –all the time with a cheeky smile as if he knows that it would annoy me.

well, it does a little bit. but then comes bedtime & he’ll come looking for me. although there’s a tad bit of envy, i do so love seeing how excited he gets when he sees his dada. suddenly theres this big smile & the jumping & dancing begins. dadadaaaa!

his father is his best friend like that. even when i take him into bed with us when he gets up in the wee hours of the morning, he’ll roll over to his dada. methinks its because dada is hairy-er than mama & provide more fuzzy comfort. but alls well. sometimes he’ll walk about the living room & suddenly launches himself into my arms for a hug or comes & gives my knee a hug or puts his head on my lap in a manja manner while looking at his father’s reaction from the corner of his eye.

now that hes better at walking on his own, he tries to multi-task by carrying a toy & walking at the same time. so funny to see cos he’s still learning how to balance himself & yet there he is carrying something heavy (for his age). so basically he walks a little senget. hihihi.

i’m trying to get him to eat different things like yogurt or cheese or baby biscuits (which can be a bit masam-ish) or to drink some vitagen. but he doesn’t seem to quite like them. its because my mom only gives him bland food i guess. growing up, it wasn’t common for us to have yogurt or cheese at home. i’m not forcing these new things on him because i’m kiasu. i just want him not to be too pampered with getting only what hes used to or likes. i want him to learn to eat whatever is available. of course i realize hes still young, so i am taking it slowly. he does take things when he sees us eating it. even if its something different to what he usually has. if i have yogurt & feed him from my cup, hes fine. but if he sees that its just for him, he gets a bit suspicious.

i’ve also just started him on scotts emulsion cod liver oil in orange. because i don’t want him to drool it all over his baju, i use a syringe. & of course that’s always viewed with much suspicion mah. hopefully, he’ll learn to like it. kids these days don’t know how lucky they are. i remember having the scotts emulsion in the original flavour. oh yuck. how i would gag every single time.

etha*ns had his first punishment. a 5-minute time-out for throwing his toys indiscriminately. we put him in his high-chair and made him face a corner & ignored him for 5 minutes. although i was always watching over him. so i was able to see the whining & the gestures to try to get me to pay him some attention. when the 5 minutes was up & the safety harness came off, he was scrambling up my arms in a jiffy. did it stop him from throwing things? nope. hehehe… more time-outs before that will happen. as usual, when we mentioned our discipline session, grandma said: poor thing, still so young.

ho-humm…

etha*n is 1year old - III

and here are pictures of his actual day itself:

hello everybody! i'm 1 today.

i'm also a little bit sleepy

can you see my sleepy eyes?

but mummy insists on taking pictures

since i love her, i'll oblige with a smile

here are my adidas sandals from grandma

this is me waiting for my 12mth jab in the clinic

i'm a brave little cowboy, yeehawww!

giddy-up horsey!

mummy & daddy were so broke after my party, they just got me a cupcake. cheapskates.

i took a lick of the cream just to see how it tastes like

i wasnt very happy with my cupcake so i refused to smile

bonding with mummy

uh-oh. the lick of the cupcake gave me a double-chin

i love mummys face so i cupped it with my feet

etha*n is 1year old - II

pictures of the day after when we finally managed to lug his gifts home for him to open.

love 'em books

check out the kaki


i want the big one AND the small one


cool


whut?

hmm, one of my own.

etha*n is 1year old - I

been meaning to update etha*ns progress but july has been such a superbly busy month for us as a family.

my son has finally turned 1 on 13 july 2009. as that fell on a monday, we had a lovely birthday party 2 days prior i.e. on the saturday which was also my 32nd birthday. we had lots of kids and adults alike. with a football-ball themed cake and lfc-themed cupcakes. some were great sports and came dressed in accordance with the birthday theme which was football. my little family of three wore liverpool jerseys. mine bought at the pasar malam in kota damansara. my family came from sabah to help us celebrate and so it was full house for us for the first 2 weeks of july. my parents stayed on longer. in fact my mom is only leaving for sabah in a few more weeks. also the maid came, and left, and came back, and left again… story for another entry this.

ok so, we had his birthday party at my mil’s. here are some pictures of the party in no particular order:

i made this :-). the banner, not the painting.

this was our present to him --football shoes

my youngest brother. people say we look alike but i think hes not as pretty as i am ;p

with my mom & mom-in-law

these were the lfc-themed cupcakes. wish the photographer had taken a better pic

with his kk grandma & grandpa

with his godma & godpa

heres one of the family

mummys cake cutting

we blow mummys 3big + 2small candles

we cut etha*ns cake

we make a wish & blow out the candles for etha*n

we sing the song

so angry his face hor??

this was the yummy cake. i wish the photographer had taken a better shot.

the inflatable gym & goat (??) which was a big hit with the kids

my helpers

etha*n & daddys hairy legs

let the games begin

the crowd of kids who came in their (read: their parents') favorite team jerseys

the godsis who's also 1 this year

at almost 1year, he could walk a little

a year ago, he was small enough to fit in my tummy

my family of 3 decked in our lfc jerseys. some genuine, some ciplak.

daddys ponnemon "golden son"



the theme which i wanted to be "you'll never crawl alone" but he was already walking by then


with his kl grandma