the discomfort continues

heartburn o' heartburn, please go away... you are making me so very sick...

another pregnancy by-product has made an appearance --tummy rashes... very the uncomfortable... so yeah, i've started slathering on the moisturisers.

yesterday, i almost blacked out while waiting in queue at jaya jusco supermarket. so scary ok... i felt some cramping, then suddenly it felt like blood was rushing up to my ears. everything around became a bit distant and i was in a state of panic cos the husband was nowhere to be seen and i desperately wanted to sit down. luckily (or in the husband's own words: "like an angel"), he appeared to save me. hehehe... so without shame i just went to an empty cashier counter and sat on a chair for a couple of minutes. this age thing ah... really troublesome. i didnt have all this with ethan, you know, when i was younger.

another unpleasant thing is that ethan has become super-duper cranky and temper-full. aiyo... cannot tahan man. so irritating even tho i love him to bits. according to my mil and to my maid, it's because he senses that i'm pregnant and wants my attention. probably. altho he's never been one to look for my attention (maybe cos im always available) but more of the father's attention. so, i'm trying to be patient with him.

other than that, the pregnancy is going ok. i thought i felt some kicks but i'm only 3 months so maybe it's just my imagination. however, i think i read somewhere that women usually feel the kicks earlier in their subsequent pregnancies. not sure if it can be as early as 3 months tho.

so now, we're more forthcoming in our news to the rest of the world since we've reached the end of the 1st trimester. praying that the 2nd trimester will be good too.

little baby's check-up update

saturday’s check-up went wonderfully well!

we can see the arms and legs now –looks more like a baby than just a lump. we even saw baby’s arms move from head to knee and doctor re-played it for our viewing pleasure :). ahh… the wonders of today’s technology!

heartbeat sounds faster and stronger. thank God.

baby is now 3.8cm long.

love you little one!

ethan's growing vocabulary ;p

I love you = fufu
Amen = mamet
Mummy = ma-mei
Baby = bei-beii
Daddy = dei-deii
Please = sik
Thank you = ta-tuu
Kiss = muah
1,2,3 = tu, tu, ti
Good night = gaunait
Good morning = gaumauning
Pacifier = fei-fei, fesi, fasi
Biscuit = beeskees
Water = boter
Barney = marney
Sleep = oh-oii
Milk = shushu
Cheers = shearsss
Cheese = cheese

almost 10 weeks

i am now entering 10 weeks & so far, so good. instead of waiting for the 12 weeks, we've decided to announce our good news --well, i'm already showing & it's kinda hard to explain why the tummy & boobs are protruding.

so, as per my previous requests, pray for us that this one will be ok & that we'll see a new addition to our family in 7 months.

my nausea is not too bad. but i am facing a lot of gas which makes me uncomfortable. i get some nausea, very little actual vomitting tho, some headaches and a lot of fatigue. i am not glowing altho some people try to lie to me ;p... i look sick most of the time. maybe if i got myself a shorter haircut i wouldnt look too sick huh?

due to my history, we have check ups every 2 weeks & i'm on a medication thats supposed to help me during the first trimester. so tomorrow, we have another check up --wish us luck. i'm hoping that everything is progressing as it should.

thanks for your prayers!

sad news :(

sometime late last month, we heard of a friend’s heartbreaking news. she was 6 months pregnant with her first child & had been having complications from Day 1. the doctor was going to schedule a delivery when she turned 7 months. sadly, at their last check up which took place maybe 2-3 days ago, there was no heartbeat detected. that night, she was still in the hospital waiting to deliver a stillborn baby :(. if i’m so sad for her, i can only imagine how she feels then. sob sob.

all my thoughts and prayers are with her and her family.

the best news

this was drafted on 28 September 2010

I am now about 2 months pregnant. Been to 2 check-ups now and although the nausea is always there, I’ve only probably puked about 2-3 times. As opposed to the tomyam during my first pregnancy, peanut butter toast seems to be my new best friend in combatting the nausea. Funny. I’m guessing since the husband is a big peanut butter & bread fan, this littlest one is probably taking after daddy? Hmm…

So far so good. At 6 weeks, we could already hear the baby’s heartbeat. & at 8 weeks, the doctor said it’s a good heartbeat and shes quite happy with the development. So, pray for me & my littlest one that we’ll get through the first trimester with flying colors ya.

news

this post was drafted earlier on 2 September 2010

Great news!

We’re expecting again! The irony is that I had a miscarriage on Merdeka Day last year & this year on Merdeka Day, I find out that I’m pregnant. Wonderful news!

So, next step is to pray & pray real hard that this little one won’t leave me like the other 2 little ones before him (or her).

I know I’ve asked some of my friends to pray for me to conceive but I hope you’ll continue to pray for me to have a strong baby who will make it through the first trimester. Bless me. Bless me. Bless me. Doesn’t matter if you’re not a Catholic. I’m not fussy about prayers just as long as you bless me.

O’ little baby, please don’t go away. Be strong & healthy & resilient & survive. Please survive.

Tradition calls for me to note some observations at the beginning of all my pregnancies. So here goes!

Early symptoms
- facial blemishes
- bloating
- early morning hunger –ravenous like that.
- emotional (tears & temper)
- cravings for lala
- no nausea yet
- some fatigue


As a reminder to my future (fat) self:

Age: 33yoWeight: 48kg
Hair: Bob cut, colored due to grey hair making a vigorous appearance
Weight: 48kg
Mood: Emotional –can you believe I cried when we sang Negaraku in church?
Cravings: lala, beef ball noodles
Nausea: not yet

Who am I kidding? I write in nonchalance, as if I have not a care in the world. But I do. I have ONE care right now. And it’s one BIG care. I’ve gone through 2 miscarriages. & I am worried sick about this pregnancy. The minute I peed on that stick, the 2 lines formed immediately. Positive?? Tilt head… POSITIVE!! I was so happy… I’ve been praying for this. In fact, I’ve been praying for just this, THIS MONTH, THIS CYCLE. & yes, shamelessy, I’ve asked friends to pray for me too. I know you may have thought that I was jesting, but I wasn’t. I don’t have to delve into the deepest reaches of my heart to find the seriousness that came with that request. It’s all over my heart. I SO WANTED TO BE PREGNANT. & there I was with a stick & 2 lines. I was pregnant!

Then I started crying because it hit me: it could happen again. I don’t want to lose another one. I don’t. Please don’t let me lose another. I see all these pregnant moms around me & I start wishing that I was one of them. They must be ever so happy & delirious in their anticipation. If I have to go through another loss, I’ll be a statistic, which I already am. But if I have 3 consecutive miscarriages then I’ll be in a different statistic pool.The husband told me to stop crying & to suck it up (that’s my line by the way, which he stole). That the baby “cant tell the difference between tears of happiness & tears of joy” (ok that made me laugh). He meant happiness vs sadness I guess. But I couldn’t stop crying. That was 3 days ago.

We’ve decided to keep it under wraps for the 1st trimester. Yes, we’re trying not to tell anyone… that’s a big thing for the husband ok. He cant keep secrets from his mom. I dont know how to keep this a secret unless I was locked up in the house for 3 months. The day after I found out about my pregnancy, a colleague sauntered up to me & asked if I was pregnant. Shocking huh? Apparently she had a dream about me being pregnant :). Maybe she’s psychic. Maybe I should ask her to dream about my having delivered a healthy baby. Sigh.


Thank you Lord for blessing me again.

I hope this time, You’ll allow me to keep this one.

I pray that this new life I’m carrying will be a strong one & that it will not leave me too prematurely.

Guide me to make the best choices for my body and my baby.

Pray give me good thoughts so that this will be a good & conducive home for my littlest one.