moods

i cried watching an indonesian soap last week. i cried watching a hindi movie yesterday. i cried reading about people crying. i cried when the husband said he wasnt in the mood for christmas (although i have since enforced the everyone-must-have-christmas-mood-during-advent ruling in my household). i cry while im puking. i cry at night because of my rashes. i cry when i read about the state of politics in this country (stupid administration --hope you all pay for your political sins in hell).

in short. i like to cry these days.

oh ya, & i get worked up easily too. i mean my temper flares together with my nostrils.

last night, the husband said he would get me some kfc on the way back from work. well, although i knew he would only reach home at about 945pm - 10pm, for some reason, i got angry with him for not coming back with the kfc in time for dinner at about 8pm. bodos kan me? he ONLY finishes work at 9pm. & usually only leaves the office at 920pm cos he has to lock-up after everyone leaves for the day. so how could he have brought me dinner at 8pm?

oh by the way, the nausea is worsened when i dont eat i.e. when i'm hungry.

when he called me on the way home, i sulkingly told him "no need to get me the kfc now! who eats dinner at 10pm??" then when he got home, he was kind enough to offer to make me something to eat & i said "no need!" when he persevered i screamed "no need!!! i dowan!!! i cannot eat already now! & dont talk to me!!! i cannot talk!!! i feel like puking!! dont talk!!"

hehehe... poor thing kan. & when i ran to the toilet to puke, he dutifully came & rubbed my back.

this morning i apologized for being cranky.

recording my vitals

i shoulda done this earlier and i did but i wrote it down in my notebook instead.

at 4weeks preggers i was:

weight : 46kg
vital stats : 33 - 29 - 34
hair : short & colored
LMP : 14 to 18 oct 07

at 7 weeks preggers

weight : havent checked
vital stats : havent checked
hair : still short & colored but longer & duller now
other info : i hv a damn zit on my face

first check-up - damansara specialist center (dr guna)

ok so we went ahead to damansara specialist center for the first check-up with dr. gunasegaran. a really nice & posh hospital this. we were late, no surprises there. i was giving the house a good sweep before we left. anyways, the husband dropped me at the entrance so i could register while he parks. i met this girl i know who is a supa-dupa-richa-girl & it kinda made me a little nervous. come on, she owns a yacht and a major shopping mall in kl & i was thinking "giler babs, i hope this doctor doesnt cater mostly for millionairesses cos im not one."

anyways, the receptionist was such a fashionista. the 45minute wait was entertaining at least. i was busy checking out the other mums and their clothes haha. the husband brought my "everything about baby" book (its like the "idiots guide to first time parenting" kinda thing) -- so embarrassing. i left it in the car, & he brought it back out plaks. lucky i had a big handbag that day haha. shoved everything inside & made him carry it.

when it came to our turn, the dr guna asked me to lie down & he put that jelly-like thing on my tummy just above my pubic area, & showed us the sac in which the fetus is growing. we saw the baby's heart beating!! it was so exciting. i was really grinning. i thought i was gonna be all control-macho you know. like "hey, i've done this many times before." ya right. haha. the husband was also grinning from ear to ear. he claims that he could see the figure of the baby. me, i just saw... well... i just saw something. & the beating heart of course. eeeeeee!!! gelinya hatiku.

anyways, that was all of it. that was the WHOLE check-up. no pap smear, no blood test, no nothing. i think we were in there for like 5 minutes tops. sighs. we didnt even get a picture of the scan although i asked for it. the receptionist said they will compile everything into a CD and give it to me when im 22 weeks preggers. 22 weeks??? im only in my 7th week!!

a word of advice: dont go to this hospital. it is so frigging expensive.

doctor's consultation fee: rm150
scanning fee: rm100
supplements: rm40
registration fee: rm15

the up-side of course is that they're really gentle with you & that its close to where we live & we didnt have to queue for hours. sigh. so, due to the cost, we're gonna check out sjmc & pantai hospital where some friends claim that the doctors charge cheaper than damansara specialist center.

the husband says we should keep all the receipts so that if the child acts up when he/she is older, then we can show him/her the cost of his life. hihihi. so jahats hor. but funny.

pregnant conversations

after a dinner of pizza at 11pm last night, we headed straight in to the room.

he: aiyahh... feel so full lah! shouldnt eat & lie down immediately.
me: ya man, thats why.
he: tummy also already so big now.
me: oh well, we are pregnant.
he: i was talking about me lah.
me: ya i was talking about you lah.
he: harummphh. very funny. (while turning away)
me: hihihi.

hihihi.

ad nauseam

the morning sickness has started.

my only proper meal yesterday was wantan noodles for breakfast. which i couldnt finish. & the shop didnt hv orange juice which would help me battle the nausea. lucky ada cold hundred plus. phew.

my dad, sis & her family came over for lunch. while we were in the kitchen cooking lunch, i suddenly felt sick & raced to the bathroom with a pack of asam in my hand & the nephew on my heels.

he: where you going aunty?
me: i want to muntah.
he: muntah??
me: here hold my asam.
he: mamaaaaa, aunty want to muntahhh.

i spent most of sunday feeling sick & dizzy. i couldnt bear the thought of eating anything so i said no when they asked me if i wanted to eat. my father asked me: kau sure? nanti kau menyesal.

while they ate, i was hanging on to the toilet bowl for dear life puking out nothing but asam, orange juice & water. ughh... horrible.

they left the leftovers for my dinner when they went home but i had none of it. everything went into the bin & when the husband came home, i forced myself to eat the indo mee goreng he made so i didnt have to take the folic acid on an empty tummy.

he: hows my baby today?
me: he/she's hungry.

there are certain types of food which i cant bear to look at OR even think about. eggs for example. or porridge (which i used to love). bahkutteh. & no carbonara please. i'm only interested in tomyam & oranges.

i was feeling so poorly but then the husband came home & i felt better. no joke.

hehehe. manja-poo.

or maybe it wasnt me. maybe it was the baby who was being a manja-poo.

coverline. hihihi...

at 5 weeks

tadaa...

you cant see it here but my fly was down...

all by myself, dont want to be, all by myself... lalala...

mia madre will not be around when i deliver.

ciss. i totally forgot that she already made plans to go to sydney australia to see the pope for the world youth day. oh well. she should be coming soon after that though.

i suppose i could cook food for myself before-hand & deep freeze them for the first week after the delivery.
...

...

...

i also suppose i'm jumping way ahead of myself.

hahaha...

when i told my sister of my tummy itch, she said "welcome to the real world". ciss. thanks for the support. hehehe...

father of my prince or princess

yesterday, i got a text from the husband:

he: love you both. (took me a while to get it actually hehe)
me: we love you too daddy-o.

today i asked the husband:

me: what would you like to be called? papa or daddy?
he: king.
me: no seriously lah.
he: king.
me: oii.
he: ya lah. king lah.

kahkahkah... perasan nak mampuih.

ptttoooiiiii!!

symptoms, hospitals

no morning sickness. rashes on the very bloated tummy. sore boobies. constipation. mood swings. intermittent temperature (sometimes hot, sometimes cold). mouth ulcers-sore throat-tonsilitis-cough-runny nose.

i already look pregnant (due to the bloatedness which is due to the constipation). according to my ILs, i'm already losing my waist (rear-view). my sister made me take off my navel ring cos she said nanti bacteria enter my navel.

i got up at 3am this morning due to discomfort (tummy itch & blocked nose). i got out of bed & was opening the bedroom door when the husband called out my name & i nearly jumped out of my skin. didnt think you were awake haha. terkejuts.

i was heading for the first aid bag in the kitchen where i knew i had a bottle of minyak cap kapak. i know you hate the stuff sweetheart but the itch was really unbearable. i should've taken up your cousin's offer for the calamine lotion last night hor? anyways, dousing it all over my tummy rash helped some. the blocked nose was something else altogether though.

since i cant take coffee (lest i want an energy bunny) & since i have been having these mouth ulcers-sore throat-tonsilitis-cough issues, my daily hot drink has been a concoction of lime juice & honey (yummy).

i havent had any cravings yet. i havent lost my appetite either. i'm eating normally: breakfast, lunch & dinner. i try not to carry anything heavy, including my laptop. i've started taking my multivits-cum-folic acid capsules. they look so pink.

im now researching on hospitals. i have so far shortlisted 4:

i) damansara specialist center
- the closest to us
- i've been recommended to go to dr guna or dr siva
- rm3.3k for normal birth, rm9.5k for a caesaerian

ii) sjmc
- i have many friends who've delivered their children here
- my SIL will also be delivering her daughter here in jan08
- i know of dr siti & dr delaila
- but i hear the waiting period during check-ups is horrendous
- a bit far izenit

iii) sunway medical center
- a friend recommended her gynea dr noraini
- my sister has actually been to this dr for a normal gynea check-up
- also far but at least its closer to my sister in puchong

iv) assunta hospital
- the husband has his heart set on assunta cos this was where he was born
- they've refurbished the place but i dont know of any recommended gyneas
- its 5mins from my office

i feel nauseous sometimes & to be prepared, i have ample supply of sweets as well as 2 plastic bags (for barfing) in the car. at the moment, im feeling sick as a dog due to the cold & cough. maybe i should head home.

my little one, you must really want a "warm" & welcoming home for the next 9mths. so ok, i'll deal with this heat-y body. but be healthy baby.

i am pregnant

yes i am.

menstruation-wise, i am exactly 7 days late today. 5 days into this bodily-cycle tardiness, i decided to take a home pregnancy test which turned out positive before i could even say "baby". of course, the husband & i thought that maybe it was faulty. so the next day, i tried out another test of a different brand. this time i did it in the little girls' room at work. positive again. later that night, we went to a 24-hour clinic to doubly-confirm my situation. positive yet again.

so, if theres any doubt, its thoroughly squashed now.

the GP told me that i was 3 weeks + 6 days pregnant last night (therefore 4 weeks today) & im due on 31 july 2oo8. but i took one of the many pregnancy calculator you can find over the 'net & it says im 4 weeks + 1 day pregnant today and my due delivery date 19 july 2008. i think the best thing for me to do is to go visit a proper gynea.

it hasnt really sunk in yet. probably because i've been so busy at work so i've not really thought about it. the physical symptoms are just like pms, its true. sore breasts, bloated tummy, fatigue.

i'm happy to be pregnant, yes thats true. my first reaction though was one of relief. haha. i've always had this fear that i was not able to conceive. so, i'm relieved that all my parts are in working condition. im also a bit scared & nervous. cos hey, something is happening to my body that has never happened to me ever before right.

whatever i'm feeling, this i do know, that my love for this child is in the essence of my very being.

i hope you'll grow healthy & strong baby. i love you.