a little news on ava

shes almost a month old now.

theres something to be said about looking at your newborn's body filling up and knowing that it's all coming from your breast milk. cos this time i'm almost exclusively breastfeeding. thinking back, i feel so sad that i didnt breastfeed ethan more/longer.

she's sleeping on her tummy now. so i can look forward to her having longer naps :).

ava's developments

ava is now 2 weeks + 3 days old. all she does is sleep, drink susu, cry, poo and repeat :)

she has a funny way of crying. like shes angry or feeling hurt or is irritated. it's so cute. it's like a whiny cry. the husband says "dont call my daughter a whiner ok!"

i'm mostly breast feeding but i dont want to be a super hero, so yeah. when i'm super tired, i just tell the nanny to give her formula. i have started expressing my breast milk but i havent been diligently doing it. bad mom.

ava's involuntary smiles are there but not as often as her brother's. she probably doesnt have as much gas as he did haha.

oops. gotta cut this entry short. the big one is asking me for some sayang. better do it before ava gets up.

confinement

it has been a challenging 2 days. my elder one is being a bit of a handful. i suppose its a combination of having a new sibling, being at an age where he is supposed to be a handful and having a mom who's already irritated by lack of sleep. poor guy.

i've been shouting at him for the last 2 days & he has been getting more spanks than he's had in his lifetime. every single time, i feel so guilty. cos the realization that he's not yet 3, that he's just acting his age, that he too has to deal with this new family dynamic, hits me after he's been given a dose of discipline. poor poor guy.

and every night i pray that God makes me a better parent, more patient, more gentle with my children, less cranky with everyone etc...

ava's also in a cranky mood and wants to be carried almost all the time. it's a bad habit to encourage but there you go... i hope everyone settles down soon.

the husband likes to resort to passing ethan to the nanny since she has a way with him. ok. she does. but i hate that someone else has to deal with my kids. even if she is the nanny. and the husband is not at home the whole day so he doesnt see that she too needs a break away from the kids.

so yeah. i REALLY hope everything settles down soon.

and this is already my 3rd week in confinement. i am going crazy. i so need to get out of the house. thankfully, i have a medical check up scheduled for tomorrow and we're taking ethan along. hopefully this will help ease his transition from being an only child to being an older brother.

on top of all this. i am looking at the condition of the apartment and have discovered that i) we need a new paint job desperately, ii) we've got way too many things and need to get rid of some, iii) maybe the apartment is getting too small for everyone and everyone's things.

i so need to get out of the house.

ava elizabeth

hello world.

my name is ava.

i was born on monday, 2 may 2011

weight: 2.84kg

height: 46.0cm

pantai medical centre

ava came into our world 10days ahead of her edd. this we expected. i was feeling all the aches & pains & had taken a week off from work even before i delivered her.

she came on a public holiday. phew. at least we didnt have to worry about traffic. i feel so lucky that for both kids, labor signs came while i was at home.

the night before she came, i had some brown-tinged discharge but i wasnt really sure if it was my deteriorating eye sight or the real deal. the husband had gone out with friends & i didnt want to seem like a wet blanket so i didnt call him back.

however, he was already home when i got up to use the bathroom, felt what i thought was my water bag leaking & saw the blood-tinged discharge at 4am. so i warned him to get some rest cos baby was coming.

while he slept, i quickly got on the computer & sent out my handover notes to my colleagues. i'm not as efficient this time around haha. with that out of the way, i was more mentally prepared to have ava :)

so, morning came & the doctor told me to make my way to the hospital. we left about 1030am & got to the hospital shortly after (since it was a public holiday & there was minimal traffic).

at the hospital, they confirmed that my water bag broke. the contractions were so mild that i wasnt in much pain (at first). at 2pm, they decided to induce me. still the pain didnt come as quickly as when they induced me with ethan. but when it came at about 4-ish pm, BOY, did it come! damn painful. again i took the pethidine jab & later the gas. but labor was so short that the gas didnt get to work its magic on me. i was screaming in pain. next thing i knew, they were prepping me to push. i had enough conscious thought to turn around & look at the clock which read 5.45pm. then the pushing started. again i got irritated with everyone for telling me not to scream but just to push. crazy or what. i was in pain. i had to scream. haha... but of course, i listened & pushed as well. i remember almost telling them "stop asking me to push. why dont you just PULL her outtttttt!!" i was also thinking to myself "omg, when isit gonna endddd??"

finally.

ava came 5 minutes later i.e. at 5.50pm.

she looked blue to me but doctor said that she was fine. well, she was crying so i guess doctor was telling me the truth.

she had a head full of hair. she didnt scream too loudly. the husband got to cut the cord this time around. then they whipped baby off to the nursery for a quick check. she came back to us moments later.

i delivered her at 5.50pm & didnt sleep till probably 2am. the husband went home to keep ethan company so i was by myself with ava in the hospital.

everything went ok. i was able to get up & use the bathroom a couple of times. i remember being so afraid to move after i had ethan. now pro already lah :)

so there you go. the arrival of my long awaited 2nd born.

shes a real cutie pie. ethan didnt take to her well when we got home. in fact he became quite possessive of me. which is something new since he has never been one to cling on to me. but its nice to know he loves me hehe. the poor husband got kicked, slapped & scratched though. for trying to keep ethan away from me & the baby. poor guy. but a week has passed & as i predicted, ethan is doing much better now as a big brother.

breastfeeding is easier this time around & i'm looking forward to fully doing so during my 2 months maternity leave. so wish me luck!

will hopefully be more rajin in updating ava's progress now that shes here.

oh ya. we had a bit of a drama while choosing the name for her.

actually, ava has always been my choice but funnily, i was being very fickle minded during my pregnancy. so, while we were in the hospital, we decided on another name for her. & after i delivered her, the husband even told our families of the chosen name. BUT THENNNN, i changed my mind again & decided to stick to ava. so the husband had to make some calls to retract his announcement hahaha...

but it's ava now. i dont know why i was being fickle when in fact, i was already calling her that while she was in my tummy.

:)

intense dreams come visiting just about right now...

i dreamt i was a spy
i killed 2 fellow spies
cos they tried to kill me
and other friendlier spies were leaving clues for me in bathrooms, at traffic lights, tripping me at hallways so they can pass me clues
felt a bit like charlie's angels hahaha
except i had to kill 2 angels
i killed one with a pencil
she was careless

muahahahaha...

at least i feel entertained when i get up in the morning :)

better than going to the movies...

32 weeks... 8 more weeks to go

cant believe i'm already 32 weeks.

really really cannot believe i still have 8 weeks to go. i'm already feeling unable to cope with the aches & pains. most days i dont feel like coming into the office. so different than my first pregnancy. i dont feel like driving either but i have to.

i'm trying as much as possible to walk about for some exercise. i spent 4 hours walking in ikea this week & came out poorer as well. somehow it's more bearable walking in a mall than walking around a park. at least i get to finish up my shopping for baby.

at our last check up 2 weeks ago, baby looks good. we're now going for check-ups fortnightly, so, we're due for one tomorrow. i wonder what we'll discover this time? doctor says she "looks" like shes got some curls. no surprise there, cos ethan's got wavy hair too. let's see if we can see her lashes.

at my last check-up i was already 59.3kg which was lighter than i expected. thats about 11kg heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. with ethan, i gained 18.5kg by the time i delivered. which means, i have 7kg more to go. as much as i dont want to gain so much weight, i do want the baby to.

as i've probably mentioned in previous entries, i cant fit into my clothes & SHOULD buy more but it's just another 2 months & i feel so sayang to have to buy expensive maternity clothes which i wont wear again (unless we're having a 3rd child which isnt a sure thing yet :p) & i cant seem to get away with wearing normal clothes (as with ethan) cos i'm bigger.

truthfully, i dont think i'm that big. but then the comments i get from friends indicate the contrary. guess i'm in denial. my belly button is disgustingly an outie now. yuck. not is it just a yuck, it's also an ouch. so i wear undies all the way up to tuck in the navel for modesty's sake and for comfort too (friction against my tops are quite painful). a male colleague of mine commented on my outie last week, saying that i'm carrying a boy because the protruding navel is actually baby's penis. ada kah patut...

i've bought most of the essential baby stuff during ethan's time. this time around, i'm just shopping for the disposable & semi-disposable items (clothes). next month's task is to give all playpens, mattresses, pillows, bed linens etc a good wash and dry in the sun.

however, i have a moses basket which doesnt have a mattress/padding, so i'm thinking of buying a kekabu mattress for it. but since kekabu is usually quite natural i.e. it's not processed for hygiene, i'm not sure if it's safe for baby? but then again, as a friend pointed out to me "dulu-dulu pun kita pakai kekabu pillows/mattresses to sleep"... :D let me read up on it some more...

having had a boy for almost 3 years now & learning to appreciate fashion for the masculine gender, it's hard for me to deal with the sheer number of choice for girls hehehe. so i havent bought much in the way of clothes for her. only rompers which are quite unisex looking, arent they? in my mind, i envision my daughter to be vogue instead of girly. in fact, i envision both my kids to be quite vogue hehehe... now let's just hope mummy's got the financials to dress them both as such :)

ethan updates

my first-born is currently learning to speak in phrases & full sentences. here's a preview:

i dovann = i dont want
let's go
i vann = i want
mummy naughty (??)
shu-shu = susu
christmas? = please sing a christmas song mummy
be-dai = please sing the birthday song mummy
mummy work?
my dada = dad
shit down = sit down (while pushing your face or shoulder into the sofa)
in the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen, Peace be With You
please
thank you
welcome
babai
see you later
water (says this very rarely since he hates drinking water)
check = ear thermometer
sheeping = sleeping
wake up
cake
cheese
byead = bread
piyei = play
big / small kitar = big / small guitar
open wight = switch on the light
off = switch off the light
press = press (e.g. press a button)
mushik = music
ohh boootifoolll = oh beautiful
ohh yummy delishes = oh yummy delicious
scared = i'm frightened
painn?? (usually asked in a questioning manner after he has done something for you to say ouch)