confinement

it has been a challenging 2 days. my elder one is being a bit of a handful. i suppose its a combination of having a new sibling, being at an age where he is supposed to be a handful and having a mom who's already irritated by lack of sleep. poor guy.

i've been shouting at him for the last 2 days & he has been getting more spanks than he's had in his lifetime. every single time, i feel so guilty. cos the realization that he's not yet 3, that he's just acting his age, that he too has to deal with this new family dynamic, hits me after he's been given a dose of discipline. poor poor guy.

and every night i pray that God makes me a better parent, more patient, more gentle with my children, less cranky with everyone etc...

ava's also in a cranky mood and wants to be carried almost all the time. it's a bad habit to encourage but there you go... i hope everyone settles down soon.

the husband likes to resort to passing ethan to the nanny since she has a way with him. ok. she does. but i hate that someone else has to deal with my kids. even if she is the nanny. and the husband is not at home the whole day so he doesnt see that she too needs a break away from the kids.

so yeah. i REALLY hope everything settles down soon.

and this is already my 3rd week in confinement. i am going crazy. i so need to get out of the house. thankfully, i have a medical check up scheduled for tomorrow and we're taking ethan along. hopefully this will help ease his transition from being an only child to being an older brother.

on top of all this. i am looking at the condition of the apartment and have discovered that i) we need a new paint job desperately, ii) we've got way too many things and need to get rid of some, iii) maybe the apartment is getting too small for everyone and everyone's things.

i so need to get out of the house.

re-visiting classic moments ;p

this is an entry that has been in draft for a while now. enjoy!

we went to church in the morning
ethan shat
so glen went to get his diapers in the car and i was walking around with ethan outside
suddenly he held out one hand full of mud
i thot "what lah this boy go and play with mud"
but he had a funny look on his face
and kept holding his palm up for me to look
then i realised it was shit
THEN
i saw it was on his face
on his neck
hahaha
and he was making funny faces
dunno if it was cos of the smell
or cos he tasted some of it
ewww

~oh heaven help me~

haha
so i dragged him to the bathroom
and he was scared
wanted me to carry
i of course said "no way jose"

i had to walk holding both his wrists
in heels
so we got to the bathroom and i couldnt do much anyways cos glen didnt know where we were
luckily i married a smart man
he found us
and ok lah i had to bathe ethan etc
but no soap
so he still stank of shit
especially his hands
hahaha

well we washed with water
then we wiped with scented wet wipes
then we used the dettol sanitizer

still didnt work

luckily on the way to church i had cut his nails
so the shit didnt get trapped under his nails
but still busuk lah

i keep remembering ethans face
how he looked at me like "save me mama from this shit!!"
hahaha

jealousy

my son seems more attached to his father than he is to me. despite me being the one who is with him more. i am a tad jealous. just a tad. sometimes i wonder, what is it that i'm doing that makes him take me for granted? because thats what i think it is. because i'm always there for him that mine is not a novel face, being with me is not a novel experience to him. he has gotten used to my being available.

its not neccessarily a bad thing (i suppose), as it probably means that baby is more confident that i'm there no matter what (excluding the hours that i'm at work lah ya). it isnt that the husband is never around. he is available subject to his working hours, just as i am. the only difference is, i work the normal malaysian 9-530pm while he works from 12noon-9pm. & by the time he reaches home, etha*n is almost asleep. so whenever he does see his father, wow... the smile on the face. the love on the face. the laughter of joy. & the husband revels in it :-)... it is lovely to see.

but i am human. so i get a bit jealous every now & then.

however, my consolation is this: etha*n looks for me when its bedtime. i believe he has come to understand the concept of time & schedule & knows when its time to turn in for the night. & when im not there on hand at the appointed hour, i can hear him whining while the father tries to pacify him. & once im within sight, wow... the smile on the face. the love on the face. & the laughter... yes, he laughs as if saying "phew... there you are!!"

:D

what thoust complaineth, willeth visiteth thoust latersth.

i have a 3-year old niece in australia who is notorious for biting, pinching & scratching. shes adorable but when her victims are also kids (some older to her even hehe), the situation gets a bit sticky with everyone defending their own.

i am one of those defenders.

over the christmas holidays, she bit my son's toe, not once but maybe 2-3 times, within the same hour. i'm not sure because i wasnt there. this was when he was only 5 months old. i heard him crying though. at one point the husband was there when my niece "attacked" & he was so anger... not with my niece but with her mother (my sister) whose only reply was "never mind lah, she geram with him." huh?? it must've been some "geram" because his toe was red with bite marks till the next day.

i feel guilty about 2 things:

i) not being able to protect my baby by not being able to scold my niece sebab takut to offend my sister
ii) being anger with my 3-year old niece who is really just a little girl albeit a naughty one

my mom recently told us that my niece attacked another child in her school in australia & got reprimanded for it. her mother (my sister) was called to the school by my niece's class teacher who said that if my niece does it again she will be demoted to the "baby class". another teacher who overheard this then commented that my niece's class teacher should not have threatened my niece that way & afterall, she as the teacher shouldve been watching the kids.

how ah?

as my mom was telling us this, my sister (who lives here), agreed with the proposed course of action by the teacher. my mom didnt. i just kept quiet. a couple of months ago, this sister (who lives here) went on a trip to australia & her 8-year old son was the victim of many bites, pinches & scratches from his 3-year old cousin. & apparently, instead of the pesalah being properly reprimanded, the victim pulak was accused (by the pesalah's father, my bil) of provoking her into attacking him. & i have to vouch for my nephew lah ok. he wouldnt have done anything that would've led to a backlash on himself. in fact, apparently, my bil in australia actually pinched my nephew (for throwing my niece off in reflex when she launched at him & she started crying).

sigh.

ok, then after my sister & mother were laying out their respective arguments on whether it was wrong of the teacher or not etc, my mother said "better dont talk, your son (my son lah this) is still small, only 8 months old, who knows how he will be." my answer was "ya, he likes to pinch & pull hair too." & my sister pulak defended him & said "ya but he is still small. he doesnt realize it & he just likes to grab hair only."

sighhh...

~can you see how my sister is playing favorites? hihihi...~

maybe because she gets to form a bond with my son cos we are here & my other sister lives in australia. maybe because ya, my niece is 3 years old & my son is only 8 months old & so my son is considered the underdog here. maybe because my bil in australia blamed his daughter's actions on her son & she didnt like it. who knows.

its kinda funny though. my mom was saying to me right after the incident where my niece bit my son's toe a couple of times, that my niece is just a child & therefore i should not be angry with her. true. but what i was really angry about was her mother's reaction. she should've smacked her daughter's fingers ke. marah ke. not say "never mind lah... she geram with him." whether he is my son or not, he's just a baby & when babies hurt they cry & when you are still able to see bite marks long after the actual biting, then, well... it must've been some bite.

susah also lah. i agree with my mom. i dont know how my son will be. i used to get stressed over how my sil's son was super-duper active & naughty. but my son is now super-duper wiggly at 8 months old. so yeah... what thoust complaineth, willeth visiteth thoust latersth maybeth horrrth. & yes, he pinches & scratches & pulls hair now & i dont know if it can be dismissed as baby doesnt know his own strength yet or if its a taster of things to come? so, to be on the safe side, i've started smacking my son's hand when he does it. of course gentle smacking lah hehehe. sometimes when im changing his diaper & he wiggles about, i give his bottom a smack too. then he cries in temper. yes, in temper. which he probably got from me.

back to my niece. but oh... she is so cute lah. so very adorable... & yes, to a certain extent, the biting is because she "geram" & gets a bit excited. so its hard to be angry with her. but we have all learned to keep alert whenever she is within close proximity of other kids. which is all we can do right.

i wonder how my son is gonna be: the bully or the bullied or will he be able to avoid either extremes?