i have a 3-year old niece in australia who is notorious for biting, pinching & scratching. shes adorable but when her victims are also kids (some older to her even hehe), the situation gets a bit sticky with everyone defending their own.
i am one of those defenders.
over the christmas holidays, she bit my son's toe, not once but maybe 2-3 times, within the same hour. i'm not sure because i wasnt there. this was when he was only 5 months old. i heard him crying though. at one point the husband was there when my niece "attacked" & he was so anger... not with my niece but with her mother (my sister) whose only reply was "never mind lah, she geram with him." huh?? it must've been some "geram" because his toe was red with bite marks till the next day.
i feel guilty about 2 things:
i) not being able to protect my baby by not being able to scold my niece sebab takut to offend my sister
ii) being anger with my 3-year old niece who is really just a little girl albeit a naughty one
my mom recently told us that my niece attacked another child in her school in australia & got reprimanded for it. her mother (my sister) was called to the school by my niece's class teacher who said that if my niece does it again she will be demoted to the "baby class". another teacher who overheard this then commented that my niece's class teacher should not have threatened my niece that way & afterall, she as the teacher shouldve been watching the kids.
how ah?
as my mom was telling us this, my sister (who lives here), agreed with the proposed course of action by the teacher. my mom didnt. i just kept quiet. a couple of months ago, this sister (who lives here) went on a trip to australia & her 8-year old son was the victim of many bites, pinches & scratches from his 3-year old cousin. & apparently, instead of the pesalah being properly reprimanded, the victim pulak was accused (by the pesalah's father, my bil) of provoking her into attacking him. & i have to vouch for my nephew lah ok. he wouldnt have done anything that would've led to a backlash on himself. in fact, apparently, my bil in australia actually pinched my nephew (for throwing my niece off in reflex when she launched at him & she started crying).
sigh.
ok, then after my sister & mother were laying out their respective arguments on whether it was wrong of the teacher or not etc, my mother said "better dont talk, your son (my son lah this) is still small, only 8 months old, who knows how he will be." my answer was "ya, he likes to pinch & pull hair too." & my sister pulak defended him & said "ya but he is still small. he doesnt realize it & he just likes to grab hair only."
sighhh...
~can you see how my sister is playing favorites? hihihi...~
maybe because she gets to form a bond with my son cos we are here & my other sister lives in australia. maybe because ya, my niece is 3 years old & my son is only 8 months old & so my son is considered the underdog here. maybe because my bil in australia blamed his daughter's actions on her son & she didnt like it. who knows.
its kinda funny though. my mom was saying to me right after the incident where my niece bit my son's toe a couple of times, that my niece is just a child & therefore i should not be angry with her. true. but what i was really angry about was her mother's reaction. she should've smacked her daughter's fingers ke. marah ke. not say "never mind lah... she geram with him." whether he is my son or not, he's just a baby & when babies hurt they cry & when you are still able to see bite marks long after the actual biting, then, well... it must've been some bite.
susah also lah. i agree with my mom. i dont know how my son will be. i used to get stressed over how my sil's son was super-duper active & naughty. but my son is now super-duper wiggly at 8 months old. so yeah... what thoust complaineth, willeth visiteth thoust latersth maybeth horrrth. & yes, he pinches & scratches & pulls hair now & i dont know if it can be dismissed as baby doesnt know his own strength yet or if its a taster of things to come? so, to be on the safe side, i've started smacking my son's hand when he does it. of course gentle smacking lah hehehe. sometimes when im changing his diaper & he wiggles about, i give his bottom a smack too. then he cries in temper. yes, in temper. which he probably got from me.
back to my niece. but oh... she is so cute lah. so very adorable... & yes, to a certain extent, the biting is because she "geram" & gets a bit excited. so its hard to be angry with her. but we have all learned to keep alert whenever she is within close proximity of other kids. which is all we can do right.
i wonder how my son is gonna be: the bully or the bullied or will he be able to avoid either extremes?
i am one of those defenders.
over the christmas holidays, she bit my son's toe, not once but maybe 2-3 times, within the same hour. i'm not sure because i wasnt there. this was when he was only 5 months old. i heard him crying though. at one point the husband was there when my niece "attacked" & he was so anger... not with my niece but with her mother (my sister) whose only reply was "never mind lah, she geram with him." huh?? it must've been some "geram" because his toe was red with bite marks till the next day.
i feel guilty about 2 things:
i) not being able to protect my baby by not being able to scold my niece sebab takut to offend my sister
ii) being anger with my 3-year old niece who is really just a little girl albeit a naughty one
my mom recently told us that my niece attacked another child in her school in australia & got reprimanded for it. her mother (my sister) was called to the school by my niece's class teacher who said that if my niece does it again she will be demoted to the "baby class". another teacher who overheard this then commented that my niece's class teacher should not have threatened my niece that way & afterall, she as the teacher shouldve been watching the kids.
how ah?
as my mom was telling us this, my sister (who lives here), agreed with the proposed course of action by the teacher. my mom didnt. i just kept quiet. a couple of months ago, this sister (who lives here) went on a trip to australia & her 8-year old son was the victim of many bites, pinches & scratches from his 3-year old cousin. & apparently, instead of the pesalah being properly reprimanded, the victim pulak was accused (by the pesalah's father, my bil) of provoking her into attacking him. & i have to vouch for my nephew lah ok. he wouldnt have done anything that would've led to a backlash on himself. in fact, apparently, my bil in australia actually pinched my nephew (for throwing my niece off in reflex when she launched at him & she started crying).
sigh.
ok, then after my sister & mother were laying out their respective arguments on whether it was wrong of the teacher or not etc, my mother said "better dont talk, your son (my son lah this) is still small, only 8 months old, who knows how he will be." my answer was "ya, he likes to pinch & pull hair too." & my sister pulak defended him & said "ya but he is still small. he doesnt realize it & he just likes to grab hair only."
sighhh...
~can you see how my sister is playing favorites? hihihi...~
maybe because she gets to form a bond with my son cos we are here & my other sister lives in australia. maybe because ya, my niece is 3 years old & my son is only 8 months old & so my son is considered the underdog here. maybe because my bil in australia blamed his daughter's actions on her son & she didnt like it. who knows.
its kinda funny though. my mom was saying to me right after the incident where my niece bit my son's toe a couple of times, that my niece is just a child & therefore i should not be angry with her. true. but what i was really angry about was her mother's reaction. she should've smacked her daughter's fingers ke. marah ke. not say "never mind lah... she geram with him." whether he is my son or not, he's just a baby & when babies hurt they cry & when you are still able to see bite marks long after the actual biting, then, well... it must've been some bite.
susah also lah. i agree with my mom. i dont know how my son will be. i used to get stressed over how my sil's son was super-duper active & naughty. but my son is now super-duper wiggly at 8 months old. so yeah... what thoust complaineth, willeth visiteth thoust latersth maybeth horrrth. & yes, he pinches & scratches & pulls hair now & i dont know if it can be dismissed as baby doesnt know his own strength yet or if its a taster of things to come? so, to be on the safe side, i've started smacking my son's hand when he does it. of course gentle smacking lah hehehe. sometimes when im changing his diaper & he wiggles about, i give his bottom a smack too. then he cries in temper. yes, in temper. which he probably got from me.
back to my niece. but oh... she is so cute lah. so very adorable... & yes, to a certain extent, the biting is because she "geram" & gets a bit excited. so its hard to be angry with her. but we have all learned to keep alert whenever she is within close proximity of other kids. which is all we can do right.
i wonder how my son is gonna be: the bully or the bullied or will he be able to avoid either extremes?
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