jealousy

my son seems more attached to his father than he is to me. despite me being the one who is with him more. i am a tad jealous. just a tad. sometimes i wonder, what is it that i'm doing that makes him take me for granted? because thats what i think it is. because i'm always there for him that mine is not a novel face, being with me is not a novel experience to him. he has gotten used to my being available.

its not neccessarily a bad thing (i suppose), as it probably means that baby is more confident that i'm there no matter what (excluding the hours that i'm at work lah ya). it isnt that the husband is never around. he is available subject to his working hours, just as i am. the only difference is, i work the normal malaysian 9-530pm while he works from 12noon-9pm. & by the time he reaches home, etha*n is almost asleep. so whenever he does see his father, wow... the smile on the face. the love on the face. the laughter of joy. & the husband revels in it :-)... it is lovely to see.

but i am human. so i get a bit jealous every now & then.

however, my consolation is this: etha*n looks for me when its bedtime. i believe he has come to understand the concept of time & schedule & knows when its time to turn in for the night. & when im not there on hand at the appointed hour, i can hear him whining while the father tries to pacify him. & once im within sight, wow... the smile on the face. the love on the face. & the laughter... yes, he laughs as if saying "phew... there you are!!"

:D