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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

back to work

hello.

my 2 months maternity leave is up. today is my 6th day back at work. i haven’t really had the time or inclination to update my blog. i notice this about new moms. i just don’t feel like logging on & crafting an entry.

etha*n just turned 2months last saturday. we took him to the pediatrician for his jab. i was so afraid for him haha… but he took it like a real trooper. he didn’t even cry when the needle was stuck into him. but he did give a small yelp a few seconds after that. hehe. both the husband & i are quite proud of him. he is now 6.16kg (at birth 3.19kg) and 63cm (at birth 47.5cm). in the last few days, hes been having slight fever in the early hours of the morning & i notice has been a bit crankier than usual. this is due to the jab but he is much better now.

look at him now.


etha*ns a real smiley baby. i have been thinking that i should take more pictures & videos of his smiles & chuckles & i have, but nothing beats seeing it live hehehe. i know it sounds lame, but hes a real joy to have. hes starting to have conversations with us now with his cooing & yelping. when i sing him to sleep, he “sings” along. well, he coos while i sing & when i stop, he stops.

at the moment my parents are still around to care for him while im at work but they’re leaving mid-oct. then its time to send him to my mil’s maid. eughh!! shes actually quite good with kids. i just don’t like her attitude with adults. hehehe…

i’ve been getting a lot of comments & advice on not manja-ing the baby by carrying him or singing to him or swaying while i put him to sleep. i’ve gotten so tired of it & heres my answer. hes only a 2 month old baby. its time for me to bond with him. i do want him to be independent but come on… he is only still a baby. i want him to feel loved. sometimes he gets up from a nap & starts looking around the room frantically & i have to keep calling him so he knows he’s not alone. it must be a mom thing but i find everything about him adorable. including his crying. if i’m separated from him, i can even tell his brand of crying in a shopping mall (i.e. when he’s with my parents i mean).

life has certainly changed. he sleeps with me in bed at the moment because the husband is not well & has been relegated to the floor. by the way, he relegated himself. etha*ns cot is outside in the living room to make way for the husband’s mattress. i often sleep with my glasses on to the point that it’s kangkang now hehehe. having him in bed with me makes it easier for me to feed him at night but we’re still hoping that we can let him sleep on his own in his cot. im mixing breast feeding with formula feeds. at my peak, i could express enough breast milk for 4x 2oz feeds which was great... at first. then i started missing the actual breast feeding, you know, where the baby is latched on to your boob. its nice to bond with the baby that way. its not the most easiest thing to do cos yes, at first there was the pain & the cracked & bleeding nipples. now its less painful so i guess it was just a matter of getting a hang of it. now that im back at work, my milk flow has reduced, & im feeling guilty for not breastfeeding fully. at the end of the day, i try as much as possible to breastfeed only for his night feeds. the breastfeeding probably helped with the weight reduction but now that im so irregular at it, my weight has stagnated at 51kg.

im experiencing a bit of the separation anxiety that people talk about so much now that i’m back at work, but there are times when i feel guilty cos i don’t have it so bad. maybe this is because i’m used to being away from him cos during my maternity leaves i was running a lot of errands and driving my siblings around (they came to visit). maybe my separation anxiety is not too bad but my feelings of guilt for not being with him & not breastfeeding is. by the time i’m done with my errands or work & reach home, i’m so guilt-stricken that i’ll be hugging the life out of him.


hes so cute & round –i call him “mummy’s ball of a baby boy”. my mum calls him “humpty dumpty”. hehehe…

my “ball of a baby boy” was baptised in a small chapel in sungai buloh. a real out of the way chapel... like going into the jungle like that. but i liked it. it felt very cosy & personal. the baptism was held on merdeka day which fell on a sunday. lucky for us, monday was a day off. i actually dont have any pictures of him in his outfit taken on that day itself. so the following pictures were taken after the event.

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