why do i keep feeling like i don’t belong? or that i’m doing something wrong? these feelings are occurring frequently and it leaves me feeling a little despondent & i don’t even know why. is this what they call prenatal depression? could it be due to hormonal changes? i really don’t like these feelings. while i have them, i am consciously telling myself not to entertain such things too much. i’m afraid that i’m predisposed to post-natal depression. waaaaaaa!! i dowannnnn!!
it may not be depression after all. hehe… but i do have these disturbing feelings. can’t really explain them. its more of a feeling of emotional discomfort. i’m afraid that i wont feel comfortable as a mom. how will life change? there’ll be this little person who’ll be fully dependent on me –will i bond? don’t get me wrong. i’m looking forward to having the little tyke. i’m just anxious over everything: my parental abilities. my relationship with the baby. my relationship with the husband. my growing tummy. my rounding face. itchy skin. sleeping positions. money. my appetite. my yearning to be around my family (i.e. not my in-laws). baby-sitters. the baby bonding with my in-laws more than with my own family. eating crabs. drinking coffee.
what a worry-wart.
it may not be depression after all. hehe… but i do have these disturbing feelings. can’t really explain them. its more of a feeling of emotional discomfort. i’m afraid that i wont feel comfortable as a mom. how will life change? there’ll be this little person who’ll be fully dependent on me –will i bond? don’t get me wrong. i’m looking forward to having the little tyke. i’m just anxious over everything: my parental abilities. my relationship with the baby. my relationship with the husband. my growing tummy. my rounding face. itchy skin. sleeping positions. money. my appetite. my yearning to be around my family (i.e. not my in-laws). baby-sitters. the baby bonding with my in-laws more than with my own family. eating crabs. drinking coffee.
what a worry-wart.
2 comments:
Okay, I have no idea if what you're going through is prenatal depression or just worrying. And I have no idea if you will be predisposed to postnatal depression as each situation is different. However, I know that I suffered from prenatal depression BIG time and when I had my baby it pretty much disappeared entirely. So, I'm just saying there is hope.
note to self: aiyo... so drama one...
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