a little news on ava

shes almost a month old now.

theres something to be said about looking at your newborn's body filling up and knowing that it's all coming from your breast milk. cos this time i'm almost exclusively breastfeeding. thinking back, i feel so sad that i didnt breastfeed ethan more/longer.

she's sleeping on her tummy now. so i can look forward to her having longer naps :).

ava's developments

ava is now 2 weeks + 3 days old. all she does is sleep, drink susu, cry, poo and repeat :)

she has a funny way of crying. like shes angry or feeling hurt or is irritated. it's so cute. it's like a whiny cry. the husband says "dont call my daughter a whiner ok!"

i'm mostly breast feeding but i dont want to be a super hero, so yeah. when i'm super tired, i just tell the nanny to give her formula. i have started expressing my breast milk but i havent been diligently doing it. bad mom.

ava's involuntary smiles are there but not as often as her brother's. she probably doesnt have as much gas as he did haha.

oops. gotta cut this entry short. the big one is asking me for some sayang. better do it before ava gets up.

confinement

it has been a challenging 2 days. my elder one is being a bit of a handful. i suppose its a combination of having a new sibling, being at an age where he is supposed to be a handful and having a mom who's already irritated by lack of sleep. poor guy.

i've been shouting at him for the last 2 days & he has been getting more spanks than he's had in his lifetime. every single time, i feel so guilty. cos the realization that he's not yet 3, that he's just acting his age, that he too has to deal with this new family dynamic, hits me after he's been given a dose of discipline. poor poor guy.

and every night i pray that God makes me a better parent, more patient, more gentle with my children, less cranky with everyone etc...

ava's also in a cranky mood and wants to be carried almost all the time. it's a bad habit to encourage but there you go... i hope everyone settles down soon.

the husband likes to resort to passing ethan to the nanny since she has a way with him. ok. she does. but i hate that someone else has to deal with my kids. even if she is the nanny. and the husband is not at home the whole day so he doesnt see that she too needs a break away from the kids.

so yeah. i REALLY hope everything settles down soon.

and this is already my 3rd week in confinement. i am going crazy. i so need to get out of the house. thankfully, i have a medical check up scheduled for tomorrow and we're taking ethan along. hopefully this will help ease his transition from being an only child to being an older brother.

on top of all this. i am looking at the condition of the apartment and have discovered that i) we need a new paint job desperately, ii) we've got way too many things and need to get rid of some, iii) maybe the apartment is getting too small for everyone and everyone's things.

i so need to get out of the house.

ava elizabeth

hello world.

my name is ava.

i was born on monday, 2 may 2011

weight: 2.84kg

height: 46.0cm

pantai medical centre

ava came into our world 10days ahead of her edd. this we expected. i was feeling all the aches & pains & had taken a week off from work even before i delivered her.

she came on a public holiday. phew. at least we didnt have to worry about traffic. i feel so lucky that for both kids, labor signs came while i was at home.

the night before she came, i had some brown-tinged discharge but i wasnt really sure if it was my deteriorating eye sight or the real deal. the husband had gone out with friends & i didnt want to seem like a wet blanket so i didnt call him back.

however, he was already home when i got up to use the bathroom, felt what i thought was my water bag leaking & saw the blood-tinged discharge at 4am. so i warned him to get some rest cos baby was coming.

while he slept, i quickly got on the computer & sent out my handover notes to my colleagues. i'm not as efficient this time around haha. with that out of the way, i was more mentally prepared to have ava :)

so, morning came & the doctor told me to make my way to the hospital. we left about 1030am & got to the hospital shortly after (since it was a public holiday & there was minimal traffic).

at the hospital, they confirmed that my water bag broke. the contractions were so mild that i wasnt in much pain (at first). at 2pm, they decided to induce me. still the pain didnt come as quickly as when they induced me with ethan. but when it came at about 4-ish pm, BOY, did it come! damn painful. again i took the pethidine jab & later the gas. but labor was so short that the gas didnt get to work its magic on me. i was screaming in pain. next thing i knew, they were prepping me to push. i had enough conscious thought to turn around & look at the clock which read 5.45pm. then the pushing started. again i got irritated with everyone for telling me not to scream but just to push. crazy or what. i was in pain. i had to scream. haha... but of course, i listened & pushed as well. i remember almost telling them "stop asking me to push. why dont you just PULL her outtttttt!!" i was also thinking to myself "omg, when isit gonna endddd??"

finally.

ava came 5 minutes later i.e. at 5.50pm.

she looked blue to me but doctor said that she was fine. well, she was crying so i guess doctor was telling me the truth.

she had a head full of hair. she didnt scream too loudly. the husband got to cut the cord this time around. then they whipped baby off to the nursery for a quick check. she came back to us moments later.

i delivered her at 5.50pm & didnt sleep till probably 2am. the husband went home to keep ethan company so i was by myself with ava in the hospital.

everything went ok. i was able to get up & use the bathroom a couple of times. i remember being so afraid to move after i had ethan. now pro already lah :)

so there you go. the arrival of my long awaited 2nd born.

shes a real cutie pie. ethan didnt take to her well when we got home. in fact he became quite possessive of me. which is something new since he has never been one to cling on to me. but its nice to know he loves me hehe. the poor husband got kicked, slapped & scratched though. for trying to keep ethan away from me & the baby. poor guy. but a week has passed & as i predicted, ethan is doing much better now as a big brother.

breastfeeding is easier this time around & i'm looking forward to fully doing so during my 2 months maternity leave. so wish me luck!

will hopefully be more rajin in updating ava's progress now that shes here.

oh ya. we had a bit of a drama while choosing the name for her.

actually, ava has always been my choice but funnily, i was being very fickle minded during my pregnancy. so, while we were in the hospital, we decided on another name for her. & after i delivered her, the husband even told our families of the chosen name. BUT THENNNN, i changed my mind again & decided to stick to ava. so the husband had to make some calls to retract his announcement hahaha...

but it's ava now. i dont know why i was being fickle when in fact, i was already calling her that while she was in my tummy.

:)