confessions of a (pregnant) shopaholic

hi my name is (pregnant) woman & im a shopaholic.

on top of that im also in denial... despite being 8 months preggers, i insist on buying non-maternity clothes.

i have been complaining to the husband that ive got nothing to wear. especially on the casual side. & ive been meaning to visit this shop called amour in dsara utama. the clothes are sold at a very reasonable price. so yesterday, after work, i drove over & shopped to my heart's content. on plastic. & i visited not just amour, but amos too (another cheap-ish boutique if you can call it that). sigh...

as most shopaholics are wont to do, i would like deal with my guilty conscience by saying this: but i got it for cheappppp. truly.

i spent rm370 for 14 items which makes it an average of rm26 per item. cheap right? however, the only maternity item i got was this ONE top. the others are just stretch-y stuff. yoga pants which, instead of folded down at the hips (cos though the pants is black, the folding area is colorful so folding it makes it rather vogue), i can pull up over my tummy. some stretchy tops which can be used even after i deliver. i have decided that i will also use the yoga pants to work --who cares if theyre not proper office attire. as long as i wear it with a work-top, nobody would know the difference. we pregnant women cant be too fussy. have you seen the prices of proper maternity clothes?? madness. besides, they look too pregnant to me. & thats a no-no for a person who's in denial like moi.

i did feel guilty about spending the money & apologized to the husband. his reaction was: why lah you apologizing to me? its ok lah, it was bound to come out --you really are a shopaholic. ciss...

oh well, it's my money right. actually, it's the bank's money. but it's still my debt. i wish i were a rich celebrity with a personal stylist. i also wish i had a personal trainer so i can get fit after my pregnancy. at the moment the thighs are all-a-jiggles. i think if i were to attach bells on them, boleh lah nyanyi lagu jingle bells. the husband, bless his soul, says im not fat. well im not. but im flabby since i got pregnant. i got friends who are bigger than i am but theyre so... non-jiggly. why ah? why cant i be like them? still, i should count myself lucky hor? there are also people who are big AND jiggly. at least im small & jiggly.

but you know, this obsession women have about being slim & all, it's really just a woman thing. of course, we can always blame it on the men who we feel want us to be slim right? but not all men are like that. my brother has a big-ish wife. shes not super fat lah but shes not slim either. my brother once told a girl friend of mine (who was obsessed with losing weight) that there are men who like big women. some even like them obese. the reality is that some men like something to grab. & i will have to concur with that. the husband is always complaining that im too small. ok lah maybe not now that im 8months pregnant. he'll look at pictures of my teenage self & say: ahhh see, you looked so fit then. now you look fragile.

ok how did i get on to this topic?

so back to shopping...

this weekend, im going shopping for pillows. for when my (big) family comes. i gotta slip-proof my bathroom too so that my mom will feel more secure when she bathes the baby for me so im buying something for that --i dont know what but something. i gotta oil my door hinges before my dad comes cos he will go mad listening to the creaking sounds. im sure i'll find more things to buy when i get to wherever im shopping. but this time, i think i'll use the husband's plastic instead.

diet modification

tsk tsk tsk...

it seems i am a borderline gestational diabetic. so, i have to modify my diet. cut down on sweet things (obviously), carbohydrates & even fruits & juices. i cant have yogurt unless its the non-flavored kind. im a bit iffy on whether i can have milk. im to purchase a glucose monitor/meter so that i can update a daily monitoring chart. gilos. luckily i only have about 6 weeks to go before i pop. sigh, its rather difficult to review my diet plan at the moment. i mean i can give up the obvious things like ice-creams/lollies/sweets. but how about the daily things i eat? charsiewpau, rice, dimsum, bread, peanut butter etc? of all the fruits i mentioned to the doctor, the only approved fruits are guava & green apples. sigh... & im on mango-mode at the moment. & i just bought some oranges too. lers. the husband has to finish them all. i'll be looking on in envy.

again, the baby was hiding his face at today's check-up. this time with his hands over his face. malu-malu kucing pulak. sigh... hes now 2.1kg & big momma is only 59.9kg. i thought i'd be like over 60kg.

im in the office now & i took off my bra. hehehe... it was hurting me. almost time to leave now so im gonna have to whip into the ladies to put it back on again.

stretchy stretchy

i discovered to my utter dismay that i have developed the ugly stretch marks. theyre not white silvery lines. their ugly crimson ones. i didnt notice them at first because theyre right under my tummy above the pubes.

last week, i was appalled to see some snaking on my sides/waist. they didnt look like much at first & i thought they were just indentations from my pants, but to my horror, they kept becoming more & more obvious as the days went by. sobbbbbssss!! & so, i began my frantic check on other parts of the tummy & found, jengjengjeng... even MORE under the tummy above the pubes.

& i thought (or hoped) that i wouldnt succumb to this. wahhh!! i think using the lotion/cream to keep stretch marks at bay is a hoax. serious shit. it helps with the itching, sure. but think about it logically lah right. sure lah your skin will stretch izenit. sighhh... the question really is how stretchy is your skin. if its very stretchy then less marks, if resistant to stretching then more marks. ok wateva, dont listen to me, im just trying to make myself feel better. my doctor said that she never used any creams even & that whatever you do, the cursed things will come. sighhh...

the tummy looks like a ball now. hihihi... i SO do not have a nice looking tummy. maybe a nice shape but not nice skin over the tummy. as you can see from the pictures below. enjoy. dont barff too much.

can you see the stretch marks?

i applied some oil to help with the itching. but the stretch marks came anyways.

the bump vs the thighs vs the feet.

thank goodness the feet have yet to swell. doesnt mean theyre pretty though.

the husbands hairy hand vs the bump.

pregnancy updates (week31-32)

at my last check-up, i found out that i potentially have a gestational diabetes situation. i did the pee-on-the-stick thingy as usual, and instead of not changing color as per my previous check-ups, it turned a ferocious red. i thought i did something wrong. then i thought, am i bleeding? but no, i wasn’t. so i hurried to the nurse’s station & showed it to her. she tut-tut-ed me saying “haiya, your sugar lah!!” so, this friday, im on mc (again) as i have to go get a glucose challenge test done. that will take ½ day so the husband & i have decided we will check into a hotel after that to make use of our complimentary gift certificate.

other than that, we found that the baby is penyet-ing his face against the womb yet again. this is the 3rd check-up where hes doing this. the doctor says, when hes born, we’ll find that he likes to snuggle. in fact, get this, the doctor said that he was using the placenta as a bolster. can you believe it?? as a bolster?? oh ya… and apparently hes got curly hair. muahahaha… so farnee. “maybe follow the dad” says the doctor. i cannot believe it lah!!! it seems semua pun follow the dad. is nothing of the mom’s worth inheriting? of course we couldn’t see the curls but the doctor could, & she was even using the cursor to point at the curls “see, look at the curls here.”

i am now 59.2kg with the baby at 1.7kg. my back aches are horrendous. i cannot wait for the time when i can go for a full body massage. maybe go to a chiropractor and ask for a back re-alignment. the boobs are a-hurting something fierce. i gots indigestion & heartburn & am so horribly unattractive as i burp myself away in the office. my poor colleagues. the husband offers his support by saying “wow. that was a good one huh?” hehehe… i find myself craving for mcdonald’s oreo mcflurry ice creams every now & again. i cant take the sundaes cos they’re too sweet for my taste. im in my office now & i only just sent a text to my office boy asking him to buy me one. i hope he got my message. if not, i’ll have to drive out & buy one on the way back.

we got a name for blub… however i don’t trust the husband to stick to it. the fickle-minded guy. harummpfff!! anyhoo, i wont be making any announcements till after the little guy comes. just in case i change my mind during the delivery. who knows i might wanna name him after the doctor ke. but then my doctor’s a lady. hmm…

last night i did some more laundry for the baby’s clothes. so cute to see the clothes hanging hehehe. reminds me of the times when i used to live with my sister & do her kids laundry for her. but it can be annoying too. cos small sizes are kinda difficult to hang on adult-sized hangers. sometimes i find myself fighting with the hangers. literally. then the husband has to come in & calm me down hahaha. ada kah… gaduh with hanger?? tsk tsk... blame it on the hormones.

i got a zit on my face. so disappointing. i was hoping for clear skin. instead, i get a zit. ok lah one zit. hehehe… but that’s enough to mar the beauty. hehehe…

ok end of entry cos this momma is feeling tiredness.

baby nursery (or more like "babys corner in parents' room")
i am happy to announce that we have received and assembled the baby cot yippeeyaaiyeiiyahuu. although its a bit chipped but im too lazy to ask for a refund or to make a complaint about it. just a little chip. so i'm gonna do a bit of DIY and use my clear nail polish to varnish it a bit hehe.

7month check-up (29weeks)
we went for a check-up last weekend and i am also happy to announce that Blub is now 1.4kg (the check-up before this he was only 780g). however, i am unhappy to announce that i am now 57.9kg (i gained 4.4kg). gilers ke apa. i feel so fat. although i'm not. my tummy is so out there. my dresses are now hiking up. macam mini skirt plaks. the doctor did warn me that mothers tend to gain the most weight in their 3rd trimester. errkk!! i'm sorry but i'm vain ok. & it appears that i am also fickle. i worry that i'm not gaining enough weight but when the scales actually confirm that i have, i worry too. ok enough about vanity issues.

Blub has eyelashes --muahahahaha... so geli my hati when the doctor said "ahh, & here are his lashes." i so did not expect it. i mean it never crossed my mind lah right to see eyelashes. usually its like "ah ok here are the legs, all 3 of them" or "see heres the beating heart". quite funny also my gynea. with regards to the lashes she also added "ahh, must follow the dad." & i was like "ehhh??? whats wrong with my lashes??" i mean hey, even if Blub inherits mine, he can always get lash extensions just like i did for my wedding. mwhehehehe. then we can bond.

preparing for baby
we're supposed to start attending ante-natal classes now. however the timing clashes with the husband's work-hours. so how ah? hmm...

this weekend we are going shopping for a stroller & rocking chair (& some bedsheets too... maybe some more bottles).

my friend says shes gonna get me one of those baby slings. yippee.

i've been reading some on cloth diapers (as opposed to disposable diapers or the traditional napkins). wonder if they're easier and more worth it to buy. or i could just stick with disposable diapers.

weight gain
i think i'm gonna be big. its cos im constantly hungry now. how dis?? i should stock-up on fruits & vegetables instead of cheezels hor? & i should opt for chicken hor fun soup instead of mee curry. heres a chronology of my weight gain:

prepregnancy - 45 kg
2nd month - 46 kg
3rd month - 48 kg
4th month - 48.5 kg
5th month - 50.4 kg
6th month - 53.5 kg
7th month - 57.9 kg
8th month - est. 62 kg (actual 59.9 kg @ 6weeks to edd)
9th month - est. 66 kg (actual 61.9 kg @ 4weeks to edd)
at delivery - 63.5 kg

ohmygoodnessie... by the end of this pregnancy, i might have gained approximately 20kg from my pre-Blub weight. i cant even take the current weight --my backaches are a real killer. another 2.5months to go. how lah dis? by the way i just ordered a 1kg blueberry cheesecake with oreo base just for me & the husband. methinks me is gonna be beeeeg!! the boobs are.

ok im depressed now.

rain on my parade

don’t you just hate it when you’re celebrating and somehow a wet blanket makes an appearance? i hate wet blankets. i wish a good sun and great gush of wind would come and sort it out.

or else a super-duper big hair-dryer.

begone.

of men & fecal matters

last night as we got in bed, we started talking about blub. contrary to popular belief, we don’t talk about the baby much hehe. in fact, we STILL haven’t decided on a name for blub. I mean, a proper one lah. the baby cant go around introducing himself as BLUB for the rest of his life izenit. its kinda annoying now –the husband’s fickle-mindedness. cos it’s the last trimester and who knows kan, blub might choose to make an early appearance. ok so back to our bedtime conversation. the husband was looking a bit disturbed so here’s an excerpt of our conversation (with a little ad-lib):

me: whats wrong big daddy?
he: im just thinking about the shit. (the husband has a problem with shit, including his own).
me: eh?
he: it took me a while to deal with my own shit.
me: don’t worry. other men have gone through the same thing. they say they got around the disgust when it came to their own kids.
he: i can do EVERYTHING else but can you deal with the shit?
me: but what if i’m sick? you not kesian me kah??
he: i will call my mom.
me: harummphhfff.