a week of (a few) firsts

first word
this is a bit late coming but sunday, my son said his first word –HI. he said HI to me right after his bath while i was changing him. it was so cute. & kinda long drawn, like Haaiiiii… ok maybe it wasn’t a word but just one of those sounds babies make. but it really sounded like a word. & why would HI be his first word instead of say, beer or shop? well cos we always say HI ETHA*N / HI BABY / HI SON / HI & i say it the same way as he did (if he really was saying a word & not just making a sound lah)… drawn out. he said it a second time sometime during the week too. but then, you know, maybe it wasn’t really a word hehehe.

first taste of cereal
the other first is that my son ate baby rice cereal for the first time also on sunday. he didn’t quite take to it but he did have some. the face was all a-mess. i wish i had taken a picture but my camera was in the car & i didn’t want his first mouthful to be given by the maid. but you know what? after the first few mouthfuls she decided to step in anyways. i am so annoyed. & while i’m giving him a break from the spoon & giving him a few sips of milk from the bottle (which is what the books say i.e. the first few feeds is meant to familiarize your baby with the experience, not necessarily to feed him a full meal), she was tsk tsk-ing me??!! the cheek of that woman! yes, yes… i was at my mil’s again. why do i still go when i don’t like their influence on my son? well, that’s why it’s a love-hate relationship. the way i see it, i do have things to do & occasionally i need someone to babysit & who else should do it but the person i’m paying to do exactly that, right? also, at the end of the day, it’s my husband’s family home & it’s not like i’m cutting off relations with my in laws right. nanti sakit hati plak.

first full turn
when etha*n learned to turn from his back onto his tummy, it seemed like such an achievement. maybe because of the dramatization on his part hehehe. to turn required all the grunts & screams he could muster. so loud & noisy was he that when he finally managed to get onto his tummy, it was like “yayyy baabyyy!”. after that, it looked like he was also trying flip over onto his back but no more drama so i haven’t really been paying attention. maybe also because i’m not around him to notice. but yesterday, he did it!! almost effortlessly. no screaming required. it’s still funny to watch though cos his bum is up in the air & the intricate crossing of the legs & ankles in order for him to flip back is amazing. i know for us adults its like oh no biggie lah right but this is a baby who is just learning to do things.

better hand / finger control
etha*n is now also better able to grab with his fingers. the most prominent is when i’m feeding him & he’ll grab my hands to either push away the milk bottle or to put it into his mouth. push + pull. then sometimes one hand is searching for my finger to hold on to while hes drinking his milk. & boy can he pinch. & punch. sometimes im punched in the eye while im sleeping & hes trying to get my attention. hihihi… the husband said we have to get him some grabbing toys soon. what are grabbing toys?

lets hope all this hand/finger control wont lead him to flick the finger at someone haha.

raising brats

i'm often told to leave the baby to cry. that paying too much attention will spoil him. recently, i spoke to a new-mom friend of mine & jokingly chastised her about spoiling her newborn daughter. something that i've been getting regular doses of myself --albeit not jokingly.

her reply was, "i dont care. shes JUST a baby."

& another friend says "if we dont carry them now, when will we? soon, they'll be walking on their own. soon, they won't even want their uncool parents around."

& i couldnt agree more.

however, here are some sound (huh!!) advice that i've been getting:

1-let the baby be by himself in the cot (gilos ke? im a new mom, you think i wont be staring at him to make sure hes ok ah??)

2-dont "catch&keep" which is a colloquial for dont carry your son or keep your son to yourself all the time that he becomes so attached to you (i want him to be attached to me. im his mom arent i?)

3-let the baby cry (then dapat colic macam mana? cry even more & still let them go on crying isit?)

im confused. im supposed to be "bonding" with my child --especially during my 2 months maternity leave. thats why they give us the 2months right? in europe even better, 9 months maternity leave also got. all in the name of bonding. takkan the baby tu nak bond dengan botol susu kan.

of course, i dont lah pick him up at the slightest sound he makes. yes, i do let him cry some --to strengthen his lungs --but not to the point where hes crying so miserably lah right. & no, i dont "catch&keep" all the time. but think about it. im a working mom. i only get to play with him in the morning for 30mins & when i come back from work. & even then, i have to juggle my need to play with him & the need to do house chores. its not like i carry him for 24hours. duhh! but there, i want him to feel loved & i want him to know that im there. whats so wrong about your child feeling secure about your love huh? how do you justify ignoring a newborn all in the name of teaching him independence?? tak paham lah.

anyways, heres what the experts say. so, to those of you doomsayers --nenenenenehh (finger on nose)!!

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Should I worry about spoiling my baby?
If I lavish love and attention on my baby, will I spoil him?

Expert Answers
Sandy Bailey, certified family life educator

No. Young babies are completely spoil-proof. Your baby needs all the care and attention you can give. Ignore the advice of well-meaning relatives who think babies need to learn independence. Instead, listen to your parental instinct — that inner voice that tells you to comfort your baby when he cries.

"Spoiled children" have learned to use negative behavior to get what they want. But your baby is too young to purposefully manipulate or annoy you. He cries to communicate his needs, whether they're for a snack, a dry diaper, or a little cuddling with Mom or Dad. When you respond quickly to your baby, you're building his sense of self-worth. You're also establishing a foundation of trust that can last for years to come.

If you give your baby prompt attention, he'll feel more secure and less anxious, giving him the courage to explore the world on his own. And once he understands that you take his cries seriously, he'll be less likely to cry for no reason. In the long run, responding quickly to your baby's needs will make him less clingy and demanding, not more.

By the time your baby is 6 to 8 months old, he'll be paying close attention to cause and effect — noticing, for instance, that his bowl falls when he drops it from the highchair. He'll also start to see a direct link between his actions and your responses. At this point it's okay to set some limits. If your baby starts crying to get something he doesn't need, hold your ground and give him a hug when he calms down. Similarly, give hugs and praise for good behavior and gently redirect him when he's doing something hazardous.

The right blend of love and guidance will eventually help your child understand his place in the world. But for now, your focus should be on giving him as much attention and comfort as you can. No matter how much you give, it's not more than he needs.

in support of the arts (& crafts)

a multi-talented friend of mine made this. she charges SGD5.00 per letter.

it's attached to the playpen by a ribbon.

cool huh?

born liverpool fc

tsk tsk tsk...

the poor thing doesnt have a choice in the matter.

mobile + playpen + companions

mobile fr mothercare rm210

rotates

lullabies

blinking lights

detachable soft toys
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heres mr lion
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sweet cherry playpen from carrefour rm149

navy blue

grey finishings

comes with a detachable basinet
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heres a musical toy courtesy of gramama to etha*n
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this is mr snakey courtesy of etha*ns cousin ayde*n
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4 months

we are family

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i am a poser

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daddy+me
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mata cinaks

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i love kisses

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mummy tickles

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hi i'm 4 months old

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oh halo there

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anakku yang kini 4bulan umurnya

today etha*n turns 4months. clapclapclap to you baby ball.

my camera is battery-dead & i forgot to charge it from last week. so i got no pictures to upload for now. i'll upload them later lah.

my botak chin son is now growing his hair out. unfortunately, he has a habit of pulling them out still. the latest with etha*n is that hes turning 360 degrees in his cot/playpen. hes quite quick about it too. hes also shouting & screaming now especially when theres company. kinda funny cos hes so excited that there are people around. then he'll be kicking his legs out & throwing his arms up --like so excited liedat lah. funny sure... but not funny when he doesnt want to drink his milk cos hes distracted. omg...

last night, i tried something out with him. i was lying down next to him in my bed & he leaned towards me. at first i thought maybe it was just random body movement but then i moved to his other side & he leaned towards me again. actuallynyer he was leaning towards my arm so he could chomp on it hihihi...

the husband & i got him a mobile (toy, not a mobile phone ya) to keep him company while he berguling-guling in the cot. the husband belanja this one from mothercare at rm210. its quite nice & soothing too. it has lullabies, soft toys going around & around as well as blinking lights.

the other new thing is the new playpen i got for him!! i'm so glad that i got it for only rm149.00 in carrefour. its the "sweet cherry" brand which my friend introduced me to (thanks sonata). & im very happy that its in navy blue & with a bit of grey thrown in. you know, there were pricier brands with uglier designs. shocking pinks & shocking greens... ughhh!! luckiness i got this & cheap too. no more do i have to roll the cot in & out of the bedroom. maneuvering it out of the doorway is one thing, having to lift it over our elevated floors is another.

the other night i got the husband to put etha*n to bed as i was busy with house chores. boy was he crying & crying but the husband finally managed to calm him down. then... guess who decided to stick her head in front of him & smile & wave at him? yup... moi... then i nonchalantly walked into the bathroom for a shower. of course that started the cry fest again hahaha... so farnie... the husband was so anger with me. he said: you KNOW he wants you, why did you wave at him summore?!

hihihi...

pictures

this is his senget smile
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this is his deepavali visiting attire
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check out the crossed ankles. he did it all himself.

muahaha.

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etha*n is a changeling

- he clasps his hands in front of him & starts staring at his mittens with such concentration that i myself start looking at them.

-he sucks on his fore arm instead of his mittens. maybe because i keep telling him he cant suck on his mittens.

- he sleeps by hiding his face on my chest or shoulder –yes hiding. with the nose penyet-ed on me. which is cute but also worrying. i worry that he cant breathe and i worry that his nose will be permanently flattened. haha.

- i think hes teething cos he seems to want to bite us. & he drools all the time.

- he has a temper –omg does he have a temper. he must get this from me lah ni.

- hes trying to sit up on his own which is also worrying cos he is forever curled into a sitting position now. takuts nanti hunched?

- he knows us. i notice that he will calm down when i take him. & he looks at me instead of anyone else. & when his dad comes, he will give a toothless smile. but then again, he smiles all the time. hmm..

last weekend we had a bit of a scare with him. he was throwing up his milk at each and every feed. and his stool was dark green to the point of being black (I would post a picture of it here but it might disgust you hehe). we wanted to take him to the clinic but the few we went to was closed for the long weekend. however upon consultation with those in-the-know (i.e. medical school dropouts), ethan could’ve been shocked (terkejut) or masuk angin. apparently when babies are shocked they are unsettled & the blackish stool is actually bile. and the puke is also yellow. not milky white but bile yellow. so sad ok. towards the end tu, when he was puking bile instead of milk, i was crying while he was puking. susah my hati.

this all started on saturday night cos we took him to his uncle’s house at about 730pm. he started puking at 930pm and only stopped puking the next morning. not lah puke continuously but right after his feeds. and he pukes out of the nose as well. then he’ll cry so pitifully –so heart wrenching ok. & I’ll be holding him to my chest with the puke drenching both of us. I can’t even put him down or pass him to the husband as he doesn’t want me to let go. so sweet hor but so very very kasian like that.

the kadazans/chinese/malays/indians all believe almost the same thing:

i) kadazans – masuk angin or something shocked him

ii) chinese – terkejut cos something shocked him

iii) indians – don’t take him out at night because there are “things” roaming about & children are more sensitive to this than adults

iv) malays – taking him out at about 7-730pm is not a good time because there are “things” roaming about

v) indonesian – masuk angin or something shocked him

im not gonna argue with anything. so i'll just play it safe for now. i mean maybe this is all superstition but surely theres some scientific logic behind it right, as with most superstition.

its amazing how fast time has flown & how big he is now. he'll turn 4months next week. i wonder what new things are gonna happen. but in my readings, the turning 4months apparently brings with it many challenges. crankiness, changing sleep & feed habits etc. sebab tunggu gigi keluar i suppose & theres a growth spurt in the 4th month.

so, heres to more change. i hope we'll survive it!

(other people's explanation for) what motherhood does to me

No matter how much you prepare for it, parenting will blow your mind.

Kids will challenge you, bring you to tears, crack you up,
and make you forget what you urgently had to do.

They'll shatter the life you knew into a million pieces.

Then they'll put it back together, like a stained-glass window,
into something infinitely more complicated and beautiful.

awww...